Sometimes the shame is so hard to bear.
The pain of failure weighs down the soul.
There is no escape and freedom is rare.
Chains tighten without any console.
His love stands in the distance.
We drift farther apart.
My shame fights with resistance.
His grace never imparts.
How could I arise again?
How can I climb out from it all?
Where is the victory over sin?
Why should I live just to fall?
Be still my heart for the light shines.
The stench of my offenses is removed.
Be still my heart for grace enshrines.
The bath of His blood has approved
Giving forgiveness is hard but forgiving one's self is even harder. Humans typically have a hard time dealing with shame and guilt. Many deal with it in a different manner. Some simply choose to ignore the conviction from the Holy Spirit and have their consciences seared with a hot iron. 1Timothy 4:1 The Spirit says clearly that in later times some believers will desert the Christian faith. They will follow spirits that deceive, and they will believe the teachings of demons. 1Timothy 4:2 These people will speak lies disguised as truth. Their consciences have been scarred as if branded by a red-hot iron.
Others deal with guilt and shame as a hopeless state. In other words, they simply stay in their bondage because the feeling is that there is no way out. " I keep failing. No one could ever love me. I keep hurt God how could he forgive me this time?" I am certain someone reading this has felt this way before. I know I have. We see love and forgiveness as finite. That is why we can understand how God could forgive us of our sins even the reoccurring ones. God's forgiveness is not temporary but infinite. It does not mean it can be taken advantage of, but it does mean that it never runs out when we are willing to ask for it.
God loves you deeply and desires to forgive all your trespasses. The questions is will you except it? Will you allow His forgiveness to fill your heart? Will you in turn forgive yourself? I am speaking to those of us who really hurt when we in turn hurt God. Those of us who desire to do right by Him and not take advantage of His grace. Those who desire to be set free from all sins even the hidden ones.
It is hard to break free when the shame and guilt seems to be so commanding. First off, guilt and shame are tactics from the enemy. He desires to keep you beat down to your sin, so you can not be of any use to the Kingdom of God. He is a deceiver, but He is also a loser. You can know what it is like to experience God's forgiveness again. You can walk away feeling like you have worth and God still loves you. You can be set free and never feel overwhelmed with guilt again. God's ways are higher than our ways. We simply need to align our thoughts with His. Below is a list of how you can start to forgive yourself.
1. God does not condemn but convicts. Condemnation comes from the enemy. Romans 8:1-2 So those who are believers in Christ Jesus can no longer be condemned. (2) The standards of the Spirit, who gives life through Christ Jesus, have set you free from the standards of sin and death.
2. Jesus paid a price for you. He died for your sin past, present, and future. What you did yesterday was forgiven, What you did today against His nature has already been forgiven, and what you do tomorrow against His kindness has been nailed to the cross and forgiven.
3. Forgiveness is God's choice. You simply have to receive it. Isaiah 43:25 I alone am the one who is going to wipe away your rebellious actions for my own sake. I will not remember your sins anymore.
4. Not forgiving yourself when God has means that you don't think God is powerful enough to free you from all sins.
You can live in freedom. You can walk in His forgiveness. It does not mean that you take advantage of His grace and mercy. It does mean that when you fail; He will pick you back up. He will dust you off, cover you with his cloak of love and smear you all over with His wonderful grace.