Saturday, May 7, 2011

Broken Spirit

Psalms 51:1-19  For the choir director; a psalm by David when the prophet Nathan came to him after David's adultery with Bathsheba. Have pity on me, O God, in keeping with your mercy. In keeping with your unlimited compassion, wipe out my rebellious acts.  (2)  Wash me thoroughly from my guilt, and cleanse me from my sin.  (3)  I admit that I am rebellious. My sin is always in front of me.  (4)  I have sinned against you, especially you. I have done what you consider evil. So you hand down justice when you speak, and you are blameless when you judge.  (5)  Indeed, I was born guilty. I was a sinner when my mother conceived me.  (6)  Yet, you desire truth and sincerity. Deep down inside me you teach me wisdom.  (7)  Purify me from sin with hyssop, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  (8)  Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness. Let the bones that you have broken dance.  (9)  Hide your face from my sins, and wipe out all that I have done wrong.  (10)  Create a clean heart in me, O God, and renew a faithful spirit within me.  (11)  Do not force me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me.  (12)  Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and provide me with a spirit of willing obedience.  (13)  Then I will teach your ways to those who are rebellious, and sinners will return to you.  (14)  Rescue me from the guilt of murder, O God, my savior. Let my tongue sing joyfully about your righteousness!  (15)  O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will tell about your praise.  (16)  You are not happy with any sacrifice. Otherwise, I would offer one to you. You are not pleased with burnt offerings.  (17)  The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. O God, you do not despise a broken and sorrowful heart.  (18)  Favor Zion with your goodness. Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  (19)  Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit- with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings. Young bulls will be offered on your altar.

King David had just committed a horrible sin. He had sex with another man's wife and had her husband killed. The Prophet Nathan came to reveal the sin and to tell of God's coming judgment. King David lived under the law and before the grace that Jesus brought to all mankind. The law stated that if you committed adultery or other sexual sins then you were to be stoned. King David threw himself at the mercy seat of the living God. Thank the Lord for His grace being  upon us today. If it was not for His grace, everyone that calls themselves Christians would be dead right now. I would be at the top of that list. 

King David cried out to the Lord once his sin was revealed to Him. We desperately need the Holy Spirit to reveal to us our sins. We need those times with Holy Spirit and simply cry out to the Living God. King David asked the Lord to remove his Rebellious acts. He asked for a cleansing from the guilt which comes from a life of sin or after a sinful act.  I like what David said next. " I admit I am rebellious." There is no need to hide anything from the Living God because He sees it all. David understood this truth. He knew what God's word said and in the light of God's word  he admitted his rebellious and sinful ways. I admit mine to my God. As a believer our acts of sin should not be many nor should they be controlling but we still fall sometimes. I know I do. I have a reoccurring sin in my life that is defeated for several months but every now and then I fall into it again. Sometimes I fall for the temptations that the enemy is throwing my way. Sometimes I allow the distractions of life to take me away from my God's Presence. My weakest moments come when I am not in prayer or studying his word. When I am worrying or overwhelmed by human happenings, I begin to fall into some kind of sin. We need to understand this. A sin is a sin in the eyes of God. There are different levels of sin but still sin. Each sin needs the covering of the Blood of Jesus. Each sin needs the forgiveness from our God because it is an act against His righteousness. 

He asked for God to hide his face from David's sins. David cried for the washing and the blotting out. You see our God has the power to blot out our sins. Others might not forget or forgive but our God throws them away. He removes the stain cursed with the dripping of our sin. David understood that His God was not the figure he made up in  his mind or someone based off of his religious views. He realized that God, our God, is a living Being who is perfect and true. David knew that when he fell down at the mercy seat of God that He was falling down before a real and just God.  He took God's commandments seriously and did not excuse himself from them. He did not try to manipulate them. They were God's commandments and that was it. How can you argue with the Living God who is perfect and true?

 King David realized that His sins separates him from God's spirit. Having been close to God, David saw the absence from God's presence as the greatest lost of His life. He could not stand to be separated from His God because of his selfish sin.

In today society, many people would be calling for the death penalty for King David. He committed adultery with another man's wife and had her husband murdered.  Many in society esteem some acts worse than others. In the eyes of the Lord,  a man who commits murder is no different than a man who hates another. In the Lord's eyes, a man committing fornication is no different than a man  lusting over pornography.  We all need the covering of Jesus' sacrificial blood.

I feel like the Apostle Paul sometimes.

Romans 7:22-25  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  (23)  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.  (24)  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?  (25)  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

I delight in the things of God when it comes to my spirit. There are times in the middle of the night or when I am waking up my spirit man is crying out for the things of God. I arise speaking in tongues and calling on His name. But my flesh, but my ole wretched flesh, my wicked, wicked flesh fights or wars to sin. It is a war and one only my God can win within me. My flesh likes the taste of sin. Did you know that Sin has a taste? Once it is tasted, for some sins, your flesh wants to run back for more. But I know I can't for it is hurting the Lord. It is hurting my greatest love and in some cases the ones that I care deeply about. Like Paul, I know to do right within me but I still do wrong. Paul the Apostle, declared himself as a wretched man and so do I. If I wish to succumb to my evil thoughts and desires I have, I probably would be in a different place right now. Like any person, sometimes those thoughts and desires are so strong. But my God is stronger!!!

I desperately need a savior for my life!!!!!

I was thinking the other day and even more so today. When was the last time I just fell on my knees and cried out to my Lord? When was the last time I came to Him for a true cleansing? I believe, at times, have thought I was holy by default. This is farthest from the truth. What Jesus did on the Cross for us can not be taken likely and I have at times. I have hurt my God and even others. For this I am deeply sorry. I throw myself at the mercy seat of my God.  I have taken for granted, at times, His love for me. I have taken for granted His grace.

As a believer, does it mean because we fail at times that we can not present God's word to others? Of course not, in fact it qualifies us even more because we can demonstrate God's loving forgiveness.  I think where I have messed up at times, as do many Christians, is that we forget about what God has delivered us from. We obtain this holy pride that is not from the Lord. We should never forget what God has forgiven us from. Before I came to Christ, I was an agnostic. I believe there was this supreme being but could care less about serving Him. I even cursed at God before. I was a GOOD person so why did I need some God in my life. I especially did not see the need to have this JESUS fellow come in my heart. How could he fit in there anyway? LOL!!!  I was totally wrong and had to come face to face with my sinful nature. I am coming face to face with my sinful nature even now.  It has been 25 years since my life changing experience with Jesus. Now, 25 years later, I am face with my humanity even more. I have been delivered from so much but it is a process. Salvation is a process. My God is patient and works on us through out our lives. I stand in front of the mirror and don't like what I see. Parts are starting to morph into the image of Christ but much is still me. Oh Lord take out the me and replace it with you.

My Prayer:
My God I have been a fool at times. I have come face to face with my own religion. I realize that my religion could never please you. I realize you are looking for broken and contrite people. There are times, oh God, that I took my wisdom over yours. I am deeply sorry my King. There are times , oh Lord, that I have stepped in front of what you wanted to do in my life. I have become a hindrance instead of a follower of you. There are times where I have put undue expectations on my family and others. For this I am deeply sorry my Lord. My God sometimes I have fallen prey to my own lusts and have booted you to the curb. Oh God . please forgive me. Forgive me for the times where I thought I knew better than you. Forgive me for the times where I tasted the joy of sin and refused to taste and see that you are better. Oh God forgive me for the times I have hurt others either unintentionally or intentionally. Sometimes I can't see my own actions because my pride was too big or my religion was too great. Father forgive me for the times where I have used my position in you for selfish motives. Forgive me for how  I treat you and others sometimes. Forgive me for my lack of empathy and for my deepest , darkest sins. Reveal all my sins to me Lord so I may not hurt you and others any more. My desire is not for myself but for you and others. Help me to live my life without the constant control of sin. Overcome my unrighteous desires and allow me to have the strength to overcome all temptations. Deliver me from ME and restore me unto you. Please take not your Holy Spirit from me and never let my pride and religion prevent me from seeing your truth. When I speak to others let it be through your love and compassion for others. Let it not be through religious mindsets or self righteous pride. Let me stand for your truth regardless of what is going on around in my life. Help me to where others only see you in my life and can not find fault in me because I no longer exist. Let me lose myself in you and don't let me be too heavenly minded to be no earthly good. Let me treat others with kindness and gentleness. Teach me to walk in your patience. Help me to follow after all your ways. Please don't let me pick and choose in your word but let the whole of your word be consistent in my life. Let me not forget how great and awesome you are. There are times oh God that I have forgotten about your power. I have forgotten about your greatness. There are times where I have taken advantage of your love for me. There are times where I have disrespected you by my actions against you. Help me to see that my sin is against your ways and your ways are better for me. Sometimes I have forgotten that your ways are better for me. Oh God I need you and desire you. Your ways are better for me. Your ways are better for all. Oh God I need you and desire you more than life itself. Please help me to see life through your eyes and not through my selfish eyes. Please allow me to let you heal my hurt and pain. Please help me to allow you to take control over my life because you know better for me. Please let the man in mirror change more into your image. Oh living God. I desire you. Please heal my family. Please heal my relationships with others. Please overcome the enemy that desires to destroy families and friendships.  You have overcome the enemy through the cross and resurrection. The enemy can not win for you are the living God who is mighty over all. Please let me not forget my authority and power in you. Please help me to remember your loving kindness and make sure I show it to others. My God I love you and need you more and more. I lay myself at your mercy seat and I cry out to you. Oh mighty God I cry out to you and know that you are the God that hears my cries. I love you my Father.  AMEN!!!!!

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