Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Failure is an Option


The old cliche " Failure is not an option." is a common saying among many in the leadership world. The phrase was used in the movie Apollo 13 and attributed to Gene Kranz. Kranz was an engineer and NASA flight director. Truth be known failure is always an option. In fact, failure is apart of life.

As believers, we can misinterpret God's plans for our lives as failures. Take the story and life of Joseph. Here you have the 11th son of Jacob. He was Jacob's favorite son so much so Jacob gave him a coat of many colors. It turns out that this coat was a slap in the face to the brothers of Joseph. It meant that Jacob was preparing Joseph to be the head of the clan for the future.  This action angered the brothers which started a chain reaction of bad situations for Joseph. Joseph was thrown into a pit, he was made a slave, and then he was put into prison.

Gen 39:1  Joseph had been taken to Egypt. Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's Egyptian officials and captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there.

Gen 39:20  So Joseph's master arrested him and put him in the same prison where the king's prisoners were kept. While Joseph was in prison,

In the world's perspective, Joseph was a failure. He was rejected from his brothers, from his master, and appeared to be rejected from his God. Why would God allow this to happen to Josep? Did he need to be placed into a pit, become a slave, and become a prisoner? What was God's lesson? What was God's reason?

Here are the facts. When Joseph was in the pit. He was protected from the elements and from animals at night. Being in the pit allowed  him to be at the right place at the right time. If Joseph was not in the pit when the Ishmaelite's came by, he would  have went back to his father and a different set of events would have occurred.



Gen 39:21  the LORD was with him. The LORD reached out to him with his unchanging love and gave him protection. The LORD also put Joseph on good terms with the warden.

When Joseph went from the Pit to being a slave. It took time before he found favor among men again. He found favor with Potiphar and was able to make his master successful. However, Potiphar's wife had a different plan. Potiphar's wife was lustfully attracted to Joseph and wanted to have sex with him. Some declare that the name of Potiphar's wife was Zuleika. Zuleika believed, through astrology, that she would bare Joseph's children. Zuleika was bound to her desires that maybe were not all her fault. Historically, it is believed that court officials to the Pharaoh were often castrated in order to keep them from lusting after the women in the King's chamber. Potiphar could have been an eunuch of sorts which added fuel to Zuleika's lust and desire. Joseph, regardless of her hang ups, ran away from the scene of temptation and found himself in prison.

While in prison, he finds favor with the Warden and is given higher responsibility.  In prison, Joseph learned how to run a business. He learned how to manage people and daily tasks. God used this time to teach him for something greater. God always. I mean always has a greater plan. We just have to trust in him.

Joseph was 17 when he was sold into slavery from his brothers. He was 30 when he finally was freed from prison and became second in command over all of Egypt. He spent 13 years of struggling and facing, in the world's eyes, a life of failure. From pit, to slave, to prisoner and then to governor, Joseph's life is a testimony of how failure is an option. If you learn anything from this story, learn that failure is an option and an illusion. Failure is defined by the one who is in the midst of the storm not by the one who is safe in the shelter and looking to the outside.

Below are some lessons to learn about Failure.

1. PIT LIFE: Sometimes we all get thrown into a pit of life. Sometimes our eyes only see the pit but forget about what is going on the outside of the pit. On the outside of your PIT. God is bringing along the ones who will take you to your next stage in life.
2. UNLIKELY CONDUITS: God used the Ishmaelites to transport Joseph to his future destination. Sometimes God will use the most unlikely people or things to guide you to your destiny. Joseph's destiny did not stop in the PIT. It was just the place of foundation.
3. SLAVERY A CHOICE: Joseph became a slave and soon fell into favor with the man of the house. Joseph chose not to allow slavery to be his title or his condition. Sometimes we allow the stages of our life to define our circumstances. Slavery is a choice. What you choose to be shackled to; you will be shackled too. Frederick Douglass, famed ex-slave, had a different point of view on slavery.

“No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.” 
― Frederick Douglass

4. PRISON BARS CAN BE BENT: Joseph discovered how to do many things while in prison. Prison was a place where freedom was obsolete and hope was distant. However, Joseph chose to see life without bars and live accordingly to his calling and gifting. Never allow your set backs become your excuses.

5. FAILURE CREATES INNOVATION: Joseph's "FAILURES" actually created an environment of creativity and innovation. Joseph was able to save nations because of his prior "FAILURES." Let Failures be your bridge to success.

When failure is looked at with different eyes, then you see that Failure is an option. Failure is part of God's design for the human condition. Without failure, we don't understand the true meaning of  success. Failure is the necessity of greater accomplishments. All you have to do is re-train your mind to see it as such.

" Failure is an Option!"













Thursday, March 30, 2017

Meditate Day and Night

Psalm 1:1-2
Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.  

Image result for Christian meditation

The Word meditate in the Hebrew language is Hagah. Hagah means to moan, growl, utter, speak, and muse. The word meditation means to reflect, ponder, consider, study, be in deep thought, and to contemplate. Meditation , among Christians, has become a negative word because of the many eastern religions that misuse the practice. Many Christians forget that our faith is an Eastern Faith. Many forget that Jesus meditated often. The Garden of Gethsemane was his favorite spot to ponder and think about the current events. He meditated on the things of God and his truth. If Jesus meditated then so should we.

The eastern religions use meditation to try and reach a higher plain of existence. For believers, meditation should be used to connect with our Holy God. In today's busy world, believers are bound to the things that drain our time away. Meditation in God is needed in order to reconnect and hear from the Holy One. King David stated that " his delight was to meditate on the law of God day and night." He desired to ponder, think, and connect with His God.  It is important that we do the same.

King David meditated on the things of God while in his house.  Psalms 48:9 Within your temple, O God,we meditate on your unfailing love. He meditated on God's precepts and truths often. Psalms 119:14-16 I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

How should Christians Meditate? Should Christians Meditate?

Christians should meditate in God on a daily basis if possible or at least once a week. It should be a practice of true holiness and the seeking of God's truth. Christians should not allow the corruption of meditation from other religions in the world stop them from meditating on God. If I was the devil and I knew that meditation was a key to sustaining a stronger and deeper relationship with God, my arch enemy, then I would do everything I could to corrupt the practice. We have to simply follow God's word and practice meditation like Jesus. So how should a christian meditate. Below are a few suggestions.

How to meditate in God.

1. Find a quite and uninterrupted place.
2. Sit down  or kneel down ( don't lie down because you might have the temptation to fall asleep)
3. Sometimes worship music is a good source which helps with your pondering and deep thought.
4. Have a notebook, tablet, computer, or some other form to write with you close by.
5. Read from God's word and simply ponder and consider the verse. Allow its truth to embed itself deep within you.
6. Balance your thinking and consideration with prayer and Holy Spirit praying through you.
7. Ensure all distracts are removed from you.
8. Proper meditation should be more than a 15 minute session. If you are first starting off or getting back into the swing of things, then start off with 10 minute sessions and work your way up.
9. The key is to focus on God and His word.
10. There can be an out of body experience but it is simply an out of body connection with the Living God.

Our connection with the Living God is so important in today's world. We can't venture far from his presence. The further we are from his presence the propensity to sin becomes greater. The further the distance from the Light the darker the world becomes. I would challenge every believer to take time today and meditate on the truth of our God.



Thursday, February 2, 2017

What We've Seen and Heard

God has been gracious to me and allow me to travel the world for over 20 years now. I have seen some amazing things. I have seen healings and miracles which could only come from God’s hand. Miracles like, a Hindu lady in India whose hearing was miraculously restored without anyone laying hands on her. God just showed up!!!! I have seen a woman who was paralyzed on her right side discover that God gave her full mobility. I have seen several back issues healed. I have seen the Lord heal the emotional pains as well. Like a pastor and his family, who lived in India. They were suffering so much as a family that when they came to our meetings they spoke the following to God. “ If we don’t get a miracle today, we will end our lives.” God gave them a miracle that day. I have seen salvation change the lives of the hurting and the demonically oppressed and possessed. I have heard God prophesy words which encouraged, edified, and corrected the body of Christ. I have seen the Lord spread out His apostolic mantle upon his people and what them rise with confidence. I have seen a whole church fall to their knees in worship because God’s presence was so strong and relevant. Like Apostles Peter and John declared to the religious official of the day. “ We cannot stop talking about what We’ve seen and heard.”

Acts 4:18-20 GW
(18)  They called Peter and John and ordered them never to teach about Jesus or even mention his name.
(19)  Peter and John answered them, "Decide for yourselves whether God wants people to listen to you rather than to him.
(20)  We cannot stop talking about what we've seen and heard."


I cannot stop sharing about God’s marvelous ways. It is important to share with the world what I have seen and heard. It is important that I never take credit for it but ensure that the living God gets all the glory. He deserves all glory! It is important that you and I wait for Him to do even mightier works. We have to place ourselves in the position to see and hear. It can’t be done hiding in our houses and never speaking to our neighbors. It can’t be done just on Sunday mornings. Being in the place to see and hear from God means getting out into the world. It means breathing His same air and bathing in  His  same sonlight.
So how can we stay in this current paradigm?
1. Don’t allow distractions of life run a muck.
2. Stay humble and broken before God’s presence.
3. Spend true valued time with the Lord.
4. G.O. ( Get Out!!!) Go into all the world.
5. Continue to tell what you have seen and heard.

“What we’ve have seen and heard” Let it be our banner to the world. 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

20 Years in the Future

I can not predict the future but we can look at clues to see what the future will be like.


Facts First:
There are over 196 countries in the world. Well ones that are recognized. Poor Taiwan is fighting that battle.  193 countries out of the 196  are part of the United Nations. There are over 7.3 billion people in the world with the life expectancy rate of around 69 years.  781 million people in the world are illiterate with most of them living in Africa and South and West Asia. The world as a whole is 76 trillion dollars in debt and growing. (www.infoplease.com)

Currently there are ongoing conflicts in Somali, Mali, Kenya, Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Sudan, India, Egypt, Afghanistan, Gambia,Nigeria, Burma, Republic of the Congo, Ukraine, and many more. Wars and rumors of wars are evident in today’s world. ( www.warsintheworld.com)

The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization estimates that about 800 million people out of the 7.3 billion people in the world are suffering from chronic undernourishment or hunger. The majority of the people live in developing countries.  This figure is down from 1 billion people a few years ago. ( www.worldhunger.org)

Earthquakes have increased significantly since 1996. It is over a 45% increase. The eruption of volcanoes has increase as well. We have only been seriously tracking earthquakes for about a 100 years so no one knows what other centuries have seen. However, it is still alarming to see a rise of these types of phenomenon.  

What did Jesus say about the Future?
 
Matthew 24:3-14 GW
(3)  As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, his disciples came to him privately and said, "Tell us, when will this happen? What will be the sign that you are coming again, and when will the world come to an end?"
(4)  Jesus answered them, "Be careful not to let anyone deceive you.
(5)  Many will come using my name. They will say, 'I am the Messiah,' and they will deceive many people.
(6)  "You will hear of wars and rumors of wars. Don't be alarmed! These things must happen, but they don't mean that the end has come.
(7)  Nation will fight against nation and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.
(8)  All of these are only the beginning pains of the end.
(9)  "Then they will hand you over to those who will torture and kill you. All nations will hate you because you are committed to me.
(10)  Then many will lose faith. They will betray and hate each other.
(11)  Many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.
(12)  And because there will be more and more lawlessness, most people's love will grow cold.
(13)  But the person who endures to the end will be saved.
(14)  "This Good News about the kingdom will be spread throughout the world as a testimony to all nations. Then the end will come.

What Jesus talked about  some 2,000 years ago rings true for today and it could ring true for the next 20 to 100 years. No one truly knows. However, one truth is for sure. Christ is returning to this planet one day. We can look at the signs and prepare the generations to come. Christians need to be ready and prepared.

20 years from now:
So what will 20 years from now look like? I will be about 65 years old. My parents, if still alive, will be in their 80’s.  My children will be in their 30’s and 40’s. My grandchildren will be teenagers or in their 20’s. It will be a total different world.
I believe technology will be more virtual and augmented than 2D and 3D. Many people around the world will have technology implanted, wearing it, or holding it within their hands. Personal devices will be smaller and more compact but perform at greater speeds.
People around the world will be more connected and probably even use Holographic technology to see each other face to face even though they are physically thousands of miles away. Technology will be woven in our physical lives and become a part of us.
An increase of wars on every front will still be apart of our every day lives. The cause will be due to the increase of evil. When evil continues to go unchecked then evil increases within world. World hunger will still be an issue but decreasing. The United Nations will push more for a disappearance of individual nations to one world government. Many nations will form together to help push greater for this agenda. Maybe even elect a partial world president. Morality will be altered to today’s growing relativism. It will be more personal based and laws will be changed to accommodate. Sexual desires will be more legalized and more rampant. Rape will be redefined along with molestation and pedophilia. Pornography will be totally virtual and augmented. It will even be robotic. Democracy will be a norm in the majority of the nations. However religious freedoms will become less and less tolerated. The ideology that drove Democracy in the past will be replaced by those bound to the relative religion. Governments will push further away from godly principles and more too humanistic beliefs. The globalization of economic health will become dominant. Global economies will drive the one government.  Earthquakes will increase and become more devastating. They will even occur in strange places. Places that have never seen an earthquake will have them. Christianity will become more secular and ritualistic. True believers will be more underground instead of in buildings. The underground church movement will be strong and prepared. They will have a greater sense of duty for the cause of Christ. Their intimacy with Christ will be more Holy Spirit led instead of emotionally led.  They will not follow the commercialization of Christ. They will be more strategic in how they witness to the world.  Christians will be considered a hindrance to the world. They will be perceived as old fashion and terrorists against global unity. Many state church will replace biblical doctrine with the world religious beliefs of relativism. Many believers will leave the faith but still think they are in the faith. The Pharisees and Sadducees were in this same stronghold. Remember it was religious minded people who sent Jesus to the Cross. It will become harder to determine true light from contaminated light. The next 20 years will be the set up from the coming false ruler. We are closer and closer to the prophesy of Matthew 24.

What should we do?

1. Don’t panic.  We know the future and should not worry because we know the outcome.
2. Prepare for change. The church should prepare for the coming change. Western and Eastern Christian practices need to be thrown out the door. We must follow Holy Spirit and his word more than ever.
3. Don’t stop sharing the gospel. Believers should never stop standing up for the gospel. We should share the gospel regardless of the threat. However, share the gospel with wisdom and leading.
4.  Grow in discernment. The gift of discernment will need to be on steroids in the coming days. It will be easy for even the elite to be fooled.  I believe many will turn from the faith when the Escapism teaching does not come to fruition. Wow unto all the pastors who have taught it and have not prepared their congregations.
5. Fast and Pray. We will enter in a season of more fasting and praying. We will have to in order to stay pure and holy for our coming king.
6. Flee from evil. Believers will be have the ability to be drawn in more and more into the world’s system of sin. We have to flee from evil. In some cases, get rid of the technology that binds us.
Above are just some thoughts. Let me know what you think.


References:
www.infoplease.com
http://www.warsintheworld.com/
www.worldhunger.org
www.sott.net

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Worship in Silence

Image result for Silent before GodMain Scripture Focus:
Zechariah 2:9-13 GW
(9)  I'm going to shake my fist at the nations, and their own slaves will loot them. Then you will know that the LORD of Armies has sent me.
(10)  Sing for joy and rejoice, people of Zion. I'm going to come and live among you, declares the LORD.
(11)  On that day many nations will join the LORD and become my people. I will live among you. Then you will know that the LORD of Armies has sent me to you.
(12)  The LORD will claim Judah as his own in the holy land and will again choose Jerusalem.
(13)  "Everyone be silent in the presence of the LORD. He is waking up and setting out from his holy dwelling place."

One day the Lord will fully restore Israel. It will be the center of all of His glory reaching out to the whole earth. He will avenge all who have hurt his children and will bring all his people together in one place. The Lord has claimed Judah as his own and will choose Jerusalem as it's capital. In this passage of scripture, it talks about when the Lord will stand in the midst of his people. Then a great silence comes on all of His people as his presence is made known. 

Silence is a type of worship to the living God. Sometimes we forget this truth. We sing songs continuously in order to make our flesh feel better but forget to listen to Holy Spirit. Sometimes Holy Spirit is telling us to be quiet and absorb the essence of our God. Sometimes God is not found in the Noise but in the Silence.

Several years ago, I was in a church service in another nation. The worship team was very gifted and were doing a great job in leading the congregation. We worshiped about 30 to 40 minutes. In my spirit, I felt the worship service going down the same normal path. ( We sing a few praise songs then finish with a few slow worship songs.) Holy Spirit challenged me to get the microphone from the worship leader and tell everyone to be quiet. I obeyed and grabbed the micro- phone. I shared my thoughts and the church got quiet. We stood in silence for about 20 to 30 minutes then the unimaginable happened. All 150 plus congregational members fell to their knees.I remember opening my eyes to see everyone one their knees and crying out to the living God. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw. I feel to my knees right after and was made humbled. We had been strongly visited by God's presence and in our obedient silence; he made his presence known. Many testimonies appeared right after the service that night. God healed some, spoke to some about their future, and strongly encouraged others. The number one consistent testimony was that they all experience God in a new way. Up to that point, including me, no one had ever experienced God in the silence. It was truly amazing.

What if we just stood silent in our gatherings with God? Could we be patient enough to wait for 30 minutes or more? What if our whole worship service was in total silence and God showed up mightily? Can we shut up long enough? Can we be quiet long enough? Can we back away long enough and let God take center stage for once in our gatherings?

This was the problem in the church service I was at. Everyone was familiar with throwing praise and worship songs at God. No one had fully experienced the simple worshiping of God with Him and within Him. You read right. Worshiping God within His presence. It is an amazing accomplishment!!! God desires to visit his people in a fresh and renewed way. That is why our Savior left Holy Spirit for us. Holy Spirit is our connector to the daily worship in Heaven. There is silence, at times, around the throne room of God. There should be silence in our gatherings too. We only need to obey and be more sensitive to Holy Spirit. 

The Challenge is set! Learn to be Silent!!!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Why do some people have it made?


Image result for Jealousy

Psalms 73:1-10 GW
(1)  A psalm by Asaph. God is truly good to Israel, to those whose lives are pure.
(2)  But my feet had almost stumbled. They had almost slipped
(3)  because I was envious of arrogant people when I saw the prosperity that wicked people enjoy.
(4)  They suffer no pain. Their bodies are healthy.
(5)  They have no drudgery in their lives like ordinary people. They are not plagued with problems like others.
(6)  That is why they wear arrogance like a necklace and acts of violence like clothing.
(7)  Their eyes peer out from their fat faces, and their imaginations run wild.
(8)  They ridicule. They speak maliciously. They speak arrogantly about oppression.
(9)  They verbally attack heaven, and they order people around on earth.
(10)  That is why God's people turn to wickedness and swallow their words.

Growing up, I remember knowing several people who seem to have the minus touch. They could cut up in the classroom, never study, and still make straight A's. It appeared that they never had to work hard at anything. For me, I had to study hard. I had to fight to get A's and B's in the classroom and I was never the class clown because I wanted to learn. When it came to the minus touch; I never had it. When I started our first church, there were no hand outs and I had to struggle to make things happen. When I started traveling the world, I had to trust the Lord and simply go. When I moved my family out to Kansas City, MO to plant another church. I had to trust the Lord again. No hand outs, no ministry support ( other than from my in-laws.) and we knew nobody. Today, I don't have a huge ministry and maybe I am not supposed to. Today, things are not booming for me and it appears it is for others. So what. It makes me no less. 

Asaph felt the same way. He looked around and saw that arrogant people seemed to be blessed. He saw that wicked people were rich beyond measure. It was hard to swallow. Asaph was serving the Lord but his life seemed like a consistent struggle. It did not seem fair!!!! Asaph had a revelation though towards the end of the passage of scripture. 

Psalms 73:13-17 GW
(13)  I've received no reward for keeping my life pure and washing my hands of any blame.
(14)  I'm plagued with problems all day long, and every morning my punishment begins again.
(15)  If I had said, "I will continue to talk like that," I would have betrayed God's people.
(16)  But when I tried to understand this, it was too difficult for me.
(17)  Only when I came into God's holy place did I finally understand what would happen to them.

He came to realize that trying to figure out life was not easy. What was simple was serving the Lord and following after him? We cannot explain life but we can explain afterlife. Asaph realized that his eternity was more important than his finite living. Simply put life is not fair and never will be. Some people will always have it made. Some will seem to have their ministry handed to them on a silver platter. Some will seem to sleep on mattresses filled with money. Unfortunately, some of us will have to work hard to accomplish even a fraction of things that others already have. Regardless, one thing that matters most of all is our relationship with the Living God. Knowing Him and beeing known by Him is the greatest accomplishment one could ever have. 

There are a few things to consider when thinking about why some people have it made. 

1. They are not better than you nor are you a loser.
2. You are not forgotten by God. Read the stories about Leah&Rachel, Joseph, and King David. All of them had to fight and go through extreme circumstances to get to a better life.
3. Society gravitates to the bubbly and outgoing. Just a fact. There is nothing you can do about that.
4. Everyone has different talents and gifts. Be happy with what you have.
5. Never compare yourself to someone else. You can't compare two things that are consistently opposite from each other. Square pegs can't fit into round holes.
6. Keep yourself grounded by surrounding yourself with the right people. Get a mentor.
7. Never become a critic. Sometimes when others appear to be successful; it is easy to become a critic instead of crusader for righteousness.
8. Everyone reaps what they have sown. Good or bad. 
9. Nothing is what it appears to be. Those who appear to have it all typically have closet demons they are fighting each and every day. 
10. Work hard and never stop doing what God has called you to do. Never worry about the size of the ministry or how many people you are ministering too. Get off your butt and go and get it!
11. Be faithful in what God has given you.
12. Be humble 

Nothing is for free and what you desire will never fall from the sky. You have to work for it and you have to keep moving for the Lord. 


Sunday, October 16, 2016

My First Year away from Church


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It has been over a year since I have been in church on a consistent basis. Am I going to hell? Am I a sinner? Has my relationship with God become non-existent? Does God hear my prayers? Have I forsaken the gathering together of the saints? Will God punish me for not going to church?

We can answer some of these questions within this blog. First, why has it been a year since I have consistently gone to church? Well, I work for a living and don't obtain monthly support from hardworking believers. My current job does not allow me to be off on Sundays and even Wednesdays. Therefore, my chances of going to church are limited in today's western Christianity.

To be honest, I have not missed the Western church processes one bit! I have not missed the ritualistic worship and praise time which always proceeds the 30 to 45-minute lecture or " Message". I have not missed church goers who fail to remember who you are and that you have been going to their church for a long time. I have not missed the bulletins and the 15 minutes talks which beg for money.  I don't miss going to a multi-million dollar building and seeing funds for the needy being less. Don't get me wrong. I love the body of Christ, but I don't love man's way of serving God. Man-kind is helplessly fickle and ritualistic.

Jesus warned us about having a Pharisaical spirit.

Mat 23:2-5 GW
(2)  "The scribes and the Pharisees teach with Moses' authority.
(3)  So be careful to do everything they tell you. But don't follow their example, because they don't practice what they preach.
(4)  They make loads that are hard to carry and lay them on the shoulders of the people. However, they are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
(5)  "They do everything to attract people's attention. They make their headbands large and the tassels on their shawls long.

Western Christianity is strongly legalistic. Many churches have fallen to the Pharisee spirit. On Sundays across America, sermons are preached and altar calls are given. Sadly the messages being preached and listened to are not followed. Many legalistic practices are performed which in turn put a heavy load on believers and non-believers alike.
 Image result for free pictures of churches

I am not angry at the church or God. I am upset on what we have become. God has called us to a deeper place. My year away from church has taught me a lot. 

1. I have learned that I need the Lord more than ever.
2. I have learned that church rituals are the same everywhere in the Western culture.
3. I have learned that the enemy has fooled many believers into falling into the Pharisee trap.
4. I have learned that believers need each other but at a deeper level. Something you can't get at a Sunday Service.
5. I have learned that God is calling all believers to return to a deep expression of church life. 
6. I have learned that God is not mad at me nor is He upset at my lack of going to " Church."

The First Christians did not meet in buildings. Church buildings did not come until a couple hundred years after the Apostles died. When a "church" wasn't a building 
These early believers did not have church buildings to meet in. They met mostly in homes. The first church buildings did not start to appear until the early 200s. ( Taken from http://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/1-300/a-look-at-the-early-church-11629559.html) 

There is nowhere in scripture where God says it is wrong to meet in or building or that it is wrong to meet in a home. However, the first Christians wanted to distance themselves from the pharisaical spirit. Sundays were their day of fellowship and the rest of the week was their days of relationship building. Believers are meant to live life together. They were meant to fellowship and reach the world for Jesus together. Church life should be organic and shared with those who need Christ. 

My first year away from " Church" has been interesting. It has really increased my passion more as to why Organic church life must come to pass. Those in traditional church settings are not evil or ungodly, but their form of worship is not God's desired way. I will still fellowship with the traditionals but will seek the Lord on how to move more towards the Organic church life.